For September, I thought it might be helpful to begin "thinking about our thinking." The famous Greek stoic philosopher Epictetus once said, Its not so much what happens, as it is...what we think it means."
What I think something means and what someone else thinks it means, can be two totally different things, therefore it is necessary to always think before we speak or even act. In my practice, I have found that it is helpful to get people to think about their goals as well as the reality of each situation they face, before saying anything or taking any action. Asking yourself the questions of What is my Goal?, How does my thinking get me to my goals?, and Is my thinking in line with reality? can help self regulate an impulsive responsive.
The next acronym I will share with you is provided courtesy of a recent Focus on the Family Broadcast I heard regarding working with married couples, but it can apply to many relationships and situations. The basic premise is THINK!
T- Is what I am about to say true?
H-Is what I am about to say helpful?
I-Is what I am about to say inspirational or encouraging?
N- Is what I am about to say necessary?
K-Is what I am about to say kind?
If your answer is no to any of these, I would suggest changing the response you plan to give so that the words or actions you say can be more productive than destructive. The common phrase "sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me is simply a lie." We can all look back and recall a time when we have been hurt by words.
So today my challenge to you is to THINK.
Jessica D. Cleveland
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